Choose Your Own Adventure

How is it that as a writer I have little trouble imagining and writing a story for my characters, and yet when it comes to my own life story I often get stuck at Once Upon a Time…?

I’ve thought a lot about this: the ease with which I write a novel about complex characters facing big life challenges, and yet, when it comes to my own life, how hard it sometimes is to get beyond the first page.

What does my character want? What does it look like? What is stopping them from doing that? What is their greatest challenge? How can they overcome it? These are questions I ask of my characters, but how often do I ask them of myself? That I might take a journey like my characters do, that starts at the beginning, a place where I contemplate my life, and that leads to identifying what it is I truly want, and then what might be holding me back from getting that. And then go through the steps it takes to move through my challenges and end up in a place where I have the opportunity to completely redefine myself and what my life looks like going forward – the life I have imagined for myself in the way that I might imagine it for my characters.

Do I care as deeply about myself as I do about them? Do I give as much attention to myself as I do to my characters’ journey and ultimate triumph? What if I took the time to really feel into my own life journey and the steps I need to take in order to live a fulfilling life? Where would my imagination take me? There are so many important questions that I have the opportunity to answer with every creative step I take.

As a life coach I have walked clients through such a journey of self-discovery. It’s fraught with lurking demons and fierce battles, but also buried treasure, hidden super powers, and surprising allies. The important thing I’ve found is to remember that it’s a journey; not a rush to the end without really exploring the steps it takes to get us there. After all, a story that skips straight from the beginning to the end without a journey isn’t a story at all, and certainly not one that anyone would want to read. So I encourage clients to live their life as an epic novel, one that will make people want to fight alongside them, celebrate their victories, feel their pain and sadness as if it’s their own. Because maybe their bravery will inspire others to be brave too, to also take on challenges that they might otherwise have been too afraid to.

It’s taken a long time for me to realise this for myself. To not always think that others’ stories are better told, better lived and more impressive than my own. For much of my writer’s life, I have tried to emulate others’ successes, but what I now realise, is that the real gold is in the experience, the journey, and not just the outcome. And the whole time, it has actually been about me and how I see myself; that I wasn’t prepared to enjoy the journey, I just wanted to rush straight to the end, which was where I thought the treasure was buried. But where’s the adventure in that? Where’s the experiences, the challenges, the friends we make along the way? All of which ultimately becomes excellent story book fodder!

So I took myself back to the beginning of my journey, asked myself what I truly wanted from my life. Not what other people have or don’t have, because that’s relevant to their journey, their story, but what is right and true for me. Then I asked myself what was standing in the way of me getting to that place: What were my challenges? What changes did I need to make? Where was the joy? And I journeyed through each of my own steps, which culminated in me facing my greatest nemesis, realising my true potential and self-worth, and from there creating a new life from a position of certainty and completeness.

Now I live and write from a place of knowing that it’s not about what others think of my creations but how much I enjoy creating them. And as a result of that, my enthusiasm and passion for what I do requires no instant gratification because it’s all in the process and the journey it takes to get there.

And I realise that makes it sound like there is only one journey, one path, and one destination, but, as a writer, I know there are many and they are varied, and I personally intend to take many, many more. Because, after all, why should my characters have all the fun? And why shouldn’t I also get to choose my own adventure?